As a professional worrier, medical unknowns are always a challenge. Always. It doesn’t matter how insignificant something may turn out to be, that time between, “we need to take a closer look,” and “we determined…,” is usually really tough for me. All the what-ifs. As a planner, I try to account for all the possibilities, even though I know, deep down, I can’t really do anything to change the outcome. And, I know that God has put me here, in this place, no matter how tough it may seem, for a reason.
With each pregnancy, I’m faced with this reality over and over again. Having a life growing inside you is huge. Not knowing so much is tough… and hearing horror stories and reading news articles…that doesn’t help me in the slightest.
Beyond all the pregnancy stuff, I worry about my family’s health. Always. Recently, Mike received some unexpected test results. For now, they are just numbers on a page. They don’t have a lot of meaning for either of us. And, after about 10 minutes with Google last night, I had to tell myself to STOP. Google and I can only be friends on a limited basis and this is definitely outside of those limits. There are so many unanswered questions.
For now, I’m praying that Mike and I can share calm hearts and calm minds as we navigate the unknown. Of course, I sincerely hope that nothing major comes from this. But, for now, I just need to keep calm. For myself. For my family. Once I’ve gotten the calm part down, I can figure out how to move on.