I must admit something that I'm not sure I've fully admitted to anyone before... growing up, I was certain that I only wanted to have one child as an adult and I would NEVER have more than one child. EVER. Why? I had plenty of friends with siblings - older, young, twins. And, as an only child, I couldn't imagine forcing my own child(ren) to grow up knowing (or thinking) that Mom or Dad had favorites. Thinking of friends' families growing up, only a single family comes to mind that never showed favoritism to any of their children (at least to those of us on the outside). They had three children and I was blessed enough to be friends, on some level, with each of them during high school. Even in high school, I was always in awe of the support they each received from their parents and it was never apparent that Mom or Dad had favorites. (Disclaimer - I have no idea how the children actually felt, at that time or now.)
Fast forward some years and I begin to realize how difficult life can be as an only child. I recognize the events, the bonds and the lack of comrades to share in the aging of your parents. Thankfully, I haven't even begun to get into the thick of that last one, but I know it's coming, eventually. Amazing how time and experience can change one's perspective.
So, that NEVER became MUST. That MUST had a BUT. I must have more than one child, BUT how will I be able to show each of them that I love them [the most]? This BUT weighed particularly heavy on my mind and heart during the months leading up to Katie's birth. I knew I was going to have to face that scenario and there was a deadline of sorts. The deadline has come and passed and I was *thrilled* to discover that God had me covered. At 1:15pm on Thursday, December 1, 2011, He placed His hands on my heart and stretched it ever so slightly... just enough to make room for Katie. I was certain I would be forced to divvy up the existing territory inside my heart to share between Abby and Katie. I had no idea that God would resolve my concerns by growing my heart just enough.
Thank you, God, for allowing me to experience your goodness and grace in my life. Please help me to demonstrate this goodness and grace in my own life as a wife and mother.